I will teach you how to answer tactless questions - these phrases will stop annoying people. I’ll teach you how to answer tactless questions - these phrases will stop annoying people. How it all started
Every second, the human brain performs 10 to the 15th power of operations, that is, 1,000,000,000,000 (a trillion operations per second). Our brain works amazingly quickly and clearly and does not stop working even when we sleep.
However, every normal person, despite such high brain functionality, has questions to which he cannot find the answer on his own. And then he has to resort to various kinds of help.
Unfortunately, with the help of Google and Yandex it is not always possible to get an answer to an exciting question.
In encyclopedias, we are also not informed about how to act in a given situation, and they are not taught this at school.
Well, what to do in such a situation?
I offer simple techniques that help you get an answer to any question.
All the answers are within us
Surely you have heard the phrase many times: all the answers are within us! Yes Yes. Most likely you heard. But how can you learn to get these most vital answers? How?
Are there any methods or techniques by which we can obtain answers not only from the depths of the memory of our soul, but also from the Ecumenical Information Bank?
Having lived the nth period of my life, periodically encountering situations that require resolution and answers to questions, from time to time I tried on myself some miraculous methods, of which I have currently identified the most effective ones for myself.
I share these techniques with you in the hope that they will definitely help you in your quest. The main thing is to believe that everything works and just practice.
So, in order.
1 Technique: Interpret the phrase
The simplest, perhaps, but not one hundred percent method. I used this method when I was still an ordinary teenager, who didn’t even really know that there was a Universal Information Bank :)
I used the book to get answers to my questions. I took a book with parables to get answers.
You can use for yourself the book you want, and even your entire library, choosing a new book every day.
Technique.
Pick up the book of your choice. Close your eyes. Say your question in your mind.
Also, with your eyes closed, open the book to the page where your inner voice tells you, and place your finger anywhere on the sheet on the right or left, as you wish.
Or mentally name the page, paragraph...
Then open your eyes and see what is written on the place you have chosen. The answer is ready.
You may not immediately understand how what this paragraph says relates to your question. Do not despair.
Most likely, you will receive a transcript of the answer later in the form sudden mental insight or from the mouths of people you communicate with.
You can ask no more than three questions per session, showing respect for the book. This way you will receive the most truthful and clear answers.
2 Technique: Intention and promptings from Above
Here, first you need to define the concept of what intention is.
We thought for sure that it would happen, let it go and forgot. All. Don't wait until it comes true. Just let go. When you need to get an answer, it will definitely happen.
Now let's move closer to the technology itself.
Technique.
Focus on your inner world, dive inside yourself, move the observer's focus to the heart center.
Free yourself from the numerous unnecessary thoughts that flash through your head every second. Create inner silence.
Mentally ask your question.
Speak it clearly and clearly, and after that set the intention that you will definitely receive an answer to it in the near future. All.
Take a breath and exhale, thank yourself for trusting the Universe and return to your daily life.
During practice, you should not think about how you will get the answer to your question. Trust the Universe.
The answer may come in the form of images, dreams, accidentally heard phrases, collisions, situations. Or perhaps you will simply be overwhelmed by “insight,” “illumination,” “epiphany,” or “realization.”
The most important thing in this technique is to be one hundred percent sure that the Universe will make sure that your intention is fulfilled and you will definitely receive an answer to your question.
I still don’t know how this happens, but it’s akin to some kind of “ordinary”)) miracle or magic.
I know one thing for sure. People who have a very clear attunement with the world of subtle energies receive tips from the Universe and even full answers to their queries.
3 Technique: A glass of water and normal sleep
This practice is very simple. You will need to perform a series of simple actions in a clear order, seasoning them with some clearly formulated thoughts.
Technique.
Before going to bed, fill a regular glass with clean drinking water. Drink half while closing your eyes.
Mentally, while you drink half a glass of water in slow sips, say your question.
Then tell yourself, “This is all I need to do to find a solution to the problem I’m thinking about.”
And feel free to go to bed.
After this, do not talk to anyone or try to mentally go through possible options solution to your issue.
Let the Universe make sure that you receive the answer. And water in this case will serve as an excellent conductor of information.
When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you should do is drink the remaining half glass of water.
There are two things that scare you most about public speaking: the first is the beginning of the speech itself, the second is the ending and subsequent questions from the audience. And while it is possible to prepare for the first one, it is almost impossible to predict all the questions. Oratory course teacher Yuri Borisov tells how not to lose confidence and answer convincingly even to questions for which you don’t have an answer.
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Watch videos with numerous interviews of our politicians and you will see - no matter how carefully they prepare to communicate with journalists, the latter sometimes ask questions that make our leaders look like unprepared schoolchildren in a higher mathematics lesson. However, no matter how many surprises there may be in questions from the audience, there are a few tips that will allow you to look confident and convincing at such moments.
Imagine yourself in the place of the audience. Here the speaker says something about “spaceships plowing the expanses of our space,” after which he asks the sacramental question whether everyone understands everything and whether there are any questions. You probably do have a question for the speaker, then you'll have to raise your hand right now, introduce yourself, and ask something you don't understand. Now imagine that you asked your question, prepared to listen to the answer, when suddenly the speaker decided that you had just said inappropriate stupidity, moreover, he voiced his conclusion out loud. Most likely, hardly anyone from this audience will dare to ask such a speaker at least one more question - suddenly the next one will be disgraced by the speaker. Hence the first conclusion: in order not to antagonize the audience, accept the fact that even the stupidest question requires your answer.
By the way, if after your speech the audience raises their hands and asks you questions, then this is definitely good. Good, because it shows the following:
The audience listened to you;
- the audience was interested in the topic of your speech;
- the audience has a desire to learn more or clarify the information received.
So, after the question has been asked, it would be right to thank the person for such an interesting, timely and relevant question. However, epithets are one way to gain time for an answer to mature in your head if it has not appeared before.
I think you yourself know that you need to thank sincerely. If you say the routine “thank you for the question,” then no one will get the feeling from such a phrase that it is really very important for you to give an answer to this particular audience.
But what to do if the answer has not yet matured in your head?
You are not an encyclopedia. When you go out in front of an audience and convey your point of view, this does not mean that you have to know everything. However, the phrase “I don’t know that” is not worth saying. If you don’t know the answer, but want to look beautiful, then there are several options on how to do it.
For example, you can say that it is very interesting topic and you planned to expand on it in more detail in your next separate speech. This way you can advertise your future presentation or think about its necessity.
If the next performance is not in your plans, then you can repeat the question again. Moreover, when a speaker repeats aloud a question asked to him from the audience, he may “accidentally” make a slip and not say a certain word or add his own. As you yourself understand, this may change the question slightly.
For example, the following question sounds: “What to do if you get lost in the forest?”
A speaker who does not know the answer may say something like this: “This is a very relevant question and I will be happy to answer it. So, you are asking me what to do if you find yourself in a difficult situation? So, under no circumstances should you lose your composure “, remember, emotions in such a situation will not help you in any way, so we turn on our logic and focus on the situation. What I would also like to advise you is to always calculate the consequences of your actions in advance and then you will never find yourself in a difficult situation.”
In the first of a series of articles on “How to Answer Questions: Sample Answers,” I provide examples for 20 questions, including the most common questions you're likely to be asked in an interview.
Knowing how to answer an employer's questions is important to your success. Your self-confidence depends on knowing that you can answer questions correctly and effectively.
Employers know that anxiety can cause candidates to talk endlessly. Show your confidence and interest with short, effective answers. Too often, candidates, when answering a question, take long pauses, begin to get nervous and talk about something extraneous, something that has nothing to do with the job. Closed and monosyllabic answers are also ineffective. Ideally, responses should help keep the conversation going and effectively share information.
Examples of answers to questions
1. Why did you leave your last job?
I guarantee you will be asked this question, so be sure to have a correct and acceptable answer ready. Good reasons for care include: seeking additional opportunities for growth, relocating, downsizing or reorganizing. The answers may be as follows:
“There was a layoff in the company, so I’m looking for a job.”
“The company I work for now is small in scale and I have achieved everything I could. I am looking for new functionality (challenges) to use my skills and strengths and continue to grow and contribute.”
"We just moved to this city to be near our family, that's why I'm looking for a job."
2. What are your weaknesses?
At a recent seminar where I spoke, one of the participants shouted from the audience: “This is a very stupid question.” I can tell you that it is not as simple as it seems. Employers can learn a lot about a candidate by asking this question. I always advise managers and HR managers who attend my trainings to ask this question, because the candidates themselves provide them with evidence of why they are not suitable for the job. Recently, a CFO told me this story:
“I was interviewing for an accountant position. When I asked the candidate to tell me about his weaknesses, he said: “Well, I somehow mixed up 3 and 8, but in the end that typo didn’t affect anything. 3 and 8 - we are in the field of finance!- he exclaimed, emphasizing his irritation at the candidate’s recognition.
I bring this story every time because because of the question about weaknesses, many applicants make a serious mistake by pointing out their shortcomings or starting to remember real stories mistakes, just like the accountant did.
If you think about it in advance and come up with an answer, then this question will not seem so difficult. I recommend that you choose a weakness that does not interfere with your performance of your duties. The answer I always used was: “Chocolate—I have a weakness for chocolate!” Ha, ha, ha, joke, joke, joke. It can't hurt to add a little humor to your interview. And often we move on to the next question. But, if the interviewer went back to his question and said, “No, actually, what is your biggest weakness?” I could answer:
“You know, when I work on a project, I get so absorbed in it that I completely forget about time. Before I know that the work day is over and it's time to leave, I still continue to work. This is probably my weak point. I think I should understand that I need to leave work at 7:00 p.m. sharp. But when I'm working on a project, I'm creative, and I just can't stop working halfway.".
Here the weakness has turned into a positive, attractive feature.
Try to choose something that won't hurt your chances of getting the job. The best answer for our accountant might have been to say:
“I have excellent computer skills. I know how Excel works, but I have very little knowledge of actual programming and I need more training if I need to write technical specifications for specialists in the IT department.”
No one is asking him to create an extended software, and his answer actually enhances his technical skills.
Another approach to answering this question is to discuss a skill that you are not yet proficient in, and then add that you took special classes and really worked on mastering that skill, and now the skill has become much better. If you think ahead, you can choose something like this that won't have a negative impact on the hiring decision.
Other acceptable responses might include admitting that you are a risk-phobe or that you are critical of your own performances and sometimes too hard on yourself if you make a mistake.
3. What are your strengths?
4. Tell us about your main achievements in your current or last job
Write down three key accomplishments on the job that demonstrate your ability to accomplish the tasks of your new position. Do not mention personal achievements such as: “I lost 10 kg” or “I won 300,000 rubles in the lottery.” It is best to illustrate your achievements by citing specific examples, such as:
“I think my main achievement is that financial results In 2016, our division was recognized as the best foreign division in the XXX group of companies.
5. You have extensive work experience. Why do you need such work at a lower level?
The employer is afraid that you will be bored and want to quickly leave the company if he hires you. Or he may suspect that you burned out at your last job and are now looking for an easier job and won't be productive. You must anticipate this question. Don't oversell your skills. Don't show that you are desperate and ready to take on any job. Explain why this job is right for you. Talk about life changes. You may say that you want to spend more time with your family and therefore are looking for a job that does not require travel.
Be careful not to say that you want an easy, stress-free job, as the employer will doubt that you will do everything responsibly job responsibilities. Another mistake to avoid is don't say: “I’m ready to start in any position.” Yes, you think so now, but the employer will be afraid that you will start looking for a new job tomorrow or at least expect a salary increase soon as soon as you “prove yourself”.
Employers are reluctant to hire someone who is overqualified because they believe such an employee will be dissatisfied with the job, will not be interested in performing the duties, and will not stay with the company for long. They don’t want someone who is “burned out” and perceives work as getting a paycheck. Also, your skills and knowledge may threaten the career of your future manager, especially if you are better suited for his position.
Explain why you want this position. “I need a job” is not an answer that will please the interviewer. You must have a logical and plausible reason why you are comfortable with the demotion. Try something like this:
“I currently hold the position of a dispatcher and work 10 nights a month. It became very difficult for my family. I decided to find an accounting position where I would focus on taxes and audits, which would allow me to go home every evening. The dispatcher position requires a lot of out-of-town travel, which I no longer want to do. I believe that my extensive financial skills, which I would bring to you, would have a positive impact on your organization.”
Create a reasonable explanation. Showing desperation or willingness to take on any job disqualifies yourself. This position is important to the company, and you must show not only that you can handle these responsibilities, but also that you want to do it.
Be careful when answering. Make sure your voice and tone do not convey irritation or frustration. It is important that you don't just want to do a job, but look for the right opportunity. You need to convince the employer that you really want the job and are not just willing to accept any job.
6. Why do you want to leave the company?
Expect this question as all employers ask it to employees who continue to work. They want to hear that you are looking for more challenges, promotions, more financial rewards. You can also say that you are leaving to cut down on travel time, travel, or because your company is unstable.
Try answering:
« I learned a lot in this company, but there are no opportunities for career growth. I enjoy challenges and learning new skills as well as improving my old ones. So now I’m looking for a new position.”
“I learned that your company has an open position. I like my current position, but the opportunity to work for a large, stable company like yours and commute to the office in 15 minutes appeals to me. At the moment it takes me about an hour to two hours to travel.”
"I purchased great experience in their other positions. But now I want more responsibility so I can have more influence on the bottom line. Your company will truly allow me to see the fruits of my labor, and that is important to me.”
7. What motivates you at work?
“The opportunity to apply your strengths and skills to your work to be a productive employee. I take pride in my work and enjoy using my skills.” List your top skills from the 5 point program.
8. Describe your ideal place to work
Explain that an ideal job is one in which you can fully utilize your skills, knowledge, and be the most productive employee. Most job seekers start talking about salary, benefits, and not about tasks and responsibilities. Postpone level discussion wages and benefits until you receive an offer. You still need to convince him that you are the ideal candidate for the job. This is a great opportunity to highlight that you enjoy learning new things, are adaptable, and are willing to take on new tasks when needed. Repeat your 5-point program as often as possible, emphasizing that you meet all the job requirements. This will only be a plus.
9. How do you work on yourself?
Employers value employees who are lifelong learners. It's best to say that you take courses, take private lessons to study foreign languages, attend conferences or trainings, read professional literature to improve your skills. You can say:
“I'm enrolled in a project management certificate program and I'm working hard on it.”
“I’m now going to go to university as an evening student to get an MBA.”
"I like to do research online and spend free time to read business articles, ideas from which may be useful in my work.”
10. What was the last book you read?
This question is often asked to find out what you read for work. A common mistake that many job seekers make is that they choose the current hot business book that is on everyone's lips and name it to look smart. Most often, the next question you will be asked will concern the principles and theories presented in this book, as well as their discussion and exchange of opinions. So don't try to fake it to impress the interviewer - point out a book you know well enough to talk about the plot or content.
This is not a critical question, so don't worry if the book you read recently was a novel and not a business book. One word of caution: don't say that the pace of your life is so fast or you're so busy raising children that you don't have time to read. Instead say:
11. Share a personal goal you want to achieve.
Share a goal that will increase your value as an employee. Mastering a new skill, completing training, studying new program or applications are what will increase your value to an employer. Certificates, diplomas or training courses you want to complete may also be a good answer.
12. Do you consider yourself successful?
Of course you do. So answer:
“Yes, I do, and I set myself up for success every day when I go to work. I focus on being productive and adding value to my organization.”
“I always give 110% to my work. At the last assessment I received the highest marks.”
13. What are you doing to develop in your professional field?
One Fortune 500 company asks every candidate this question. For what? They want to hire people who are multi-step ahead thinkers and good problem solvers, and they know that by hiring people like these who are constantly learning, they are making a good investment in the future of the company. Explain that you read trade magazines, stay up to date with news in your industry, read books, or take courses to develop your skills.
14. I'm not sure that you are the right person for this job.
Don't be discouraged when you hear something like this in an interview. Almost all employers have doubts about the candidate, although many of them never express their concerns out loud. Look at it like good opportunity sell yourself. Use a 60-second sales pitch and a 5-point program to answer.
You may be asked this question as part of a stress interview. Be prepared to use the right tactics to respond to stressful questions.
15. Describe the worst manager you've ever had.
As much as you might want to criticize your former boss and talk about his mistakes, I suggest you reconsider this approach. Try this instead:
“One manager did not give feedback often. Months could pass without any feedback it was impossible to understand from him what was on his mind. I don't like having someone above me, but I do like feeling like I'm part of a team, contributing, sharing ideas, and knowing that my work is aligned with my boss's and the company's goals. In my opinion, there was a lack of open communication. I think effective communication between the subordinate and the manager is really important.”
This response demonstrates a positive reaction to the importance of teamwork in achieving company goals.
However, some positions involve greater autonomy. This is a growing trend. In this case, you can formulate your answer like this:
“I'm good at my job and for two years I had a boss who gave me a lot of freedom. I succeeded, achieving all my goals and exceeding them from time to time. My manager was promoted, and the new boss prefers to control everyone and everything. This was difficult for me and many of my colleagues to get used to. I find that I am most productive when I am given clear goals and given freedom to act.”
16. What did you enjoy doing most in your previous job?
When talking about what you like, relate it to the work you are going to do for the new potential employer. Be specific about what you will do in this position, such as providing staff training, creating Excel spreadsheets, managing a project budget, or leading a project from start to finish. Don't talk about benefits such as
“I liked that my previous company ordered pizza for the employees at their own expense on Fridays.”
17. What did you not like doing at your last job?
This complex issue. Do not communicate anything that could affect your ability to perform work for this company. When you give an example, use information you know about the new job, such as the fact that the company outsources all of its publications. At your previous job, everything was done in-house by full-time employees. So you can answer like this:
“One of the things I really didn't like was the time it took to complete printing projects. We did it ourselves, without resorting to outsourcing. It took us seven weeks to complete a project that we could have completed in five days by hiring a company that specializes in this. I felt like the process wasn't very efficient."
The best way to answer this question is to choose something neutral or something that will be beneficial for you. For example:
“At my last job, we had very slow computers and an old version of MS Office programs. Because of this, my work took a lot of time, and the older versions provided little functionality than the new programs. This worried me, but the company did not have the funds to update its equipment."
18. Describe your ideal leader
What the interviewer is really asking with this question is, “Can you work with me?” Respond accordingly. Identify the management style that will allow you to be most productive at work. Give an example of what the boss did, e.g.
“The manager gave me autonomy and I had the authority to make decisions on a number of issues independently.”
“We all felt like we were an important part of the team and our ideas and suggestions were listened to.”
19. Why did you change jobs so often?
Candidate defectors have become common as we have become more mobile, especially with corporate downsizing and failed startups. Turncoat candidates with short periods of work in one place make employers wary. After all, getting to know and adapting to new job it takes several months. The employer is worried that they will spend time training you, and then you will leave. In such cases, the truth works best. If you've moved a lot, try answering this:
“My husband’s position required us to constantly move. His current position ensures that we will stay in this city for a long time so that our son can graduate from school here. I strive to succeed in my career. On various positions I have mastered the skills of managing various programs. I know a lot of software, which makes me a productive worker.”
If the change of companies occurred due to obtaining higher positions, then you can give the following answer:
“In every position I learned new skills, and in every company I received a promotion. Many of the companies were not very large, leaving them was the only option for advancement. I am now looking for a larger organization where I can stay for a long time and show good results.”
20. Why did you leave your last job?
Considering the times we live in, downsizing and corporate layoffs are happening everywhere. To answer this question you could say:
“My company, like many others in the market, suffered from the crisis, and my position was liquidated during the reorganization”
“My company decided to close the regional office and my entire department was dissolved.” Add at the end: “That’s why I’m looking for a job now.”
Everything you need to know to successfully pass any type of interview can be read in the book.
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Gift set of iconic women's phrases and typical answers to them.
Women don't always mean what they say.
#1 Do you love me?
This means: that you were a scoundrel and missed the everyday ritual of stating our love several times.
Correct answer: “My love for you is as big as the volume of the oceans compared to a bag of orange juice!”
Incorrect answer: “I already told you everything on this topic when we met, why are you asking again?”
#2 Hello, where are you?
This means: “I decided to check your schedule with the planned one and at the same time listen to see if there are any unfamiliar female voices in the background.” Mobile communications have changed our lives; it is to it that we owe the entry into everyday life of this new type of female greeting.
Correct answer: “Hi, I stopped by the store to look at gifts for your parents, otherwise there are so many holidays ahead...”
Incorrect answer: "And what?"
#3 Am I not fat?
This means: “Urgently tell me how beautiful I am.” A man's assessment of his own appearance is based on the first opinion he hears and remains quite stable until clinically proven refutation. That is, until the age of forty, a man considers himself slim and curly (as his great aunt certified by pointing to his graduation photo) and begins to position himself as fat and bald only when the attending physician writes down “obesity” and “alopecia” in black and white on the chart. Women's self-esteem changes two to three times a day and depends on regular injections of compliments.
Correct answer: “Ha ha ha! You are a reed, you need to be force-fed, like dystrophy.”
Incorrect answer: “Of course, it’s hard to call you thin, but in general this is not the main thing.”
No. 4 I can’t do this...
This means: “I will not have sex with you now.” What is clear even without words is that she buttons up sadly, looking slightly guilty. You are left in an overexcited bewilderment: so - how is this? How exactly can she not do that? You feel like an underdeveloped lustful animal, unable to understand the subtle mechanisms of female psychology. In fact, the meanings of “I can’t do that” vary widely. From “on the first date” and “I’m married (you’re married)” to “under the laughter of your friends from the next room” and “I’m having these days.” You have come across a sensitive nature that attaches very great importance to such a thing as sex with you. Don’t hesitate, go to the end, and perhaps, unexpectedly for herself, she will be able to do this. Not this time, then next time.
Correct answer: "I understand you. It’s just that feelings are sometimes stronger than logic.”
Incorrect answer: "Fine! And what should I do now – just walk like this?”
#5 I'm pregnant!
This means that you will have to make a very important decision. Because children are a nightmare, but living a life completely without children is somehow boring. Now the main thing is to arrange everything so that the decision is not made without you. And one more thing: try to react joyfully at first, just like that, to increase the level of world optimism.
Correct answer:“Wow, that’s great! We need to seriously discuss this."
Incorrect answer: “Is it convenient for you to have an abortion on Wednesday? I just have a discount card at our antenatal clinic.”
№6 We don't know each other too well
This means: “I’m a little afraid of you and don’t have sex at all on the first (second) date.” There is such a rule. This will not affect the quality of your future relationship in any way, you will just have to wait a little. You also have your own little rules, for example, don’t show off your collection of whips and handcuffs on the first date.
Correct answer: “It seems to me that we have known each other for a thousand years!”
Incorrect answer: “Now I’ll go to the toilet, I’ll come back, and it’ll be like a second date, okay?”
№7 Buy me some pads
This means: that your relationship has entered a phase of trust and stability. Now you can indulge in garlic toast, a raised toilet seat, and sex in socks. She will forgive.
Correct answer: “Of course, dear. Which ones do you want - where are three droplets drawn or two?”
Incorrect answer: “Maybe I should go to the gynecologist instead of you?”
№8 What are you thinking about?
This means: “I’m not sure that you like me, I’m not sure if I’m good at sex, I’m generally confused and not sure of anything. Besides, I’m afraid that now you will consider me a woman of easy virtue, but I’m not like that. As I have already stated before.”
Correct answer: (kissing the girl in a suitable place): “That we came up with this well. What do you think?”
Incorrect answer: “I’d like some beer now!” Cold..."
№9 You need to get checked
This means: “They found a strange sexually transmitted disease in me. But which of us infected whom is a big and interesting question.” Don’t be upset, medicine has reached such heights that, theoretically, you can even catch a pregnancy through everyday use. Incubation periods last for years, so you can both provide an alibi. And don’t be surprised if they don’t find anything on you - everyone, you know, has their own microflora. And take precautions next time.
Correct answer: “Of course, I’ll check, but you’re still a very flighty girl for your age.”
Incorrect answer: “Wait, I’ll explain everything to you!”
No. 10 Well, where have you been?
This means: that you will now need to say something very, very convincing. Because for the last two hours she has been inflaming her jealousy, comparing facts and maybe even calling your friends with whom you allegedly whiled away the time in a bar with walls impenetrable to mobile communications.
Correct answer: (after rinsing your mouth with cognac): “Darling! Juventus beat Parma 3:1! Are you glad? It’s just that I seem to have lost my mobile phone...”
Incorrect answer: “Am I obliged to account for every step I take?”
№11 I have a headache
This means: “Today you will have to do without vaginal, oral, anal and all other types of sex with me, because I am not in the mood. Don't even try." Although it is possible that she really just has a headache.
Correct answer: “This is the brain growing. Do you want me to find you a pill?”
Incorrect answer: "It's nothing. Lie on your stomach, your head won’t feel anything.”
№12 Don't you notice anything?
This means: “I tried so hard, but you, an insensitive brute, didn’t even pay attention.” Urgently examine the questioning woman from head to toe for metamorphosis. Are your breasts still the same and have not changed in size? This doesn't mean anything yet. Try to remember some basic features of her appearance - hair color and texture, eye color. There are changes? Not sure? Don’t be upset, a person is not able to remember those 200-300 parameters that a woman considers the most important in her appearance. A manicure, dress, or eyebrow shape may be new. If your girlfriend suddenly begins to resemble Donald, she may have increased her lip volume. If her eyes seemed larger to you, perhaps she used to wear glasses and now has contacts. Although it is possible that she simply did some general cleaning or hung new curtains. What should have immediately caught your eye.
Correct answer: “Of course I notice, I’m not blind! It’s much better this way!”
Incorrect answer: “What should I notice? New curlers?
№13 Am I really not fat?
This means: that you still haven’t worked enough on this sore point. Yes, you have already compared her to concentration camp prisoners and suggested that she buy things in the children's department. But this is not enough! You yourself should make a thoughtful face from time to time, squint your eyes and mutter thoughtfully: “Have you lost weight? It seems to me that you have lost weight... You need to eat more..."
Correct answer: “I swear by my game console, you will soon have to change your wardrobe - all these things are too big for you!”
Incorrect answer: “If you ask me about this again, I will tell you the truth, and it will be scary!”
№14 Let's remain friends
It means: “I met someone more sexually interesting than you. I’m a little uncomfortable about this, and I also feel sorry for you.” Of course, you felt good with her not only in bed, but also in the movies, at the disco, on the beach. Therefore, there is a temptation to “stay friends” in order to continue a pleasant relationship. Don't give in, at the cinema, at the disco and on the beach you will still think about sex.
Correct answer: "No no. I’m afraid you won’t be able to stand it and will rape me.”
Incorrect answer: "Great! We'll go shopping together and drink coffee and cake. But I will still hope that you will return to me...”
№15 I don't know what you see in her!
This means: “I hate this painted creature and, if necessary, I will scratch out its eyes.” Each male company has its own lyrical heroine, the discussion of which is the charm of the notorious male conversations. Usually this is a common colleague or former classmate. She smokes, drinks and skillfully tells obscene jokes. Easily sits on someone's lap if there are no empty seats. And even if there is... It doesn’t mean anything, she’s just so spontaneous, so at home. Wives and girlfriends hate them.
Correct answer: "Nothing! She's fat, ugly and... what's the word... vulgar! By the way, it seems like you’ve lost weight.”
Incorrect answer: “Come on, she’s cool!”
No. 16 You're a man!
This means: “I was just about to do this unpleasant thing myself, when I suddenly remembered who I could blame it on.” Screwing in a light bulb, hammering a nail, bringing potatoes - no one argues, this really requires strength, dexterity, ingenuity and other qualities that the boys absorbed in labor lessons. But there are other missions (absolutely meaningless) - turning off the stove halfway, climbing out onto the winter balcony for a three-liter jar, digging through the beach in search of a hairpin - which, from a female point of view, only titans can do. Attempts to discuss these missions from the point of view of the laws of physics and logic are regarded as ungentlemanly. You are a man! So don’t argue, but rather take an umbrella and bring a powder compact from the car.
Correct answer: “Of course, dear! Oh, this sweet absent-mindedness of yours!”
Incorrect answer: “I can’t, I already painted my nails.”
No. 17 Am I disturbing you?!
This means: “I don’t want you to urgently change the subject. And it is advisable that they never return to her again in front of me, and especially without me.” In the presence of girls, men's conversations become especially exciting - where to go on vacation? where to buy bathroom furniture? Is Japanese cuisine healthy? But sometimes, word by word, the conversation goes somewhere wrong. Vacations, hot countries, Thai women can do this... Built-in technology, Petrovich, by the way, installed a video camera in the bathroom, and when prostitutes come... By the way, about Japanese cuisine - do you remember that waitress from the Hiroshima restaurant?.. This is where the girl starts fidgeting and feel discomfort.
Correct answer: “Sorry, honey! Gennady, stop talking nonsense! So, from the point of view of the price-quality ratio, German mixers..."
Incorrect answer: “Ha ha ha! Honey, close your ears, I want to finish my thought.”
№18 Do you remember what day it is today?
This means: “I waited half a day for congratulations and flowers, there were none. I looked at your unfestive face, and a terrible guess came into my head...” Remember quickly. If today is her birthday, your anniversary, March 8 or February 14, you can still get out. Pretend that you've been preparing a surprise all day and go get the gifts. If today is a holiday of a smaller caliber (for example, 1000 days from the beginning of your sex life), then you could well, as a confused workaholic, forget about it.
Correct answer: "Of course I remember. But do you remember? Come on, tell me."
Incorrect answer: "Tuesday".
№19 I was just wondering what would happen next
It means: “Are you thinking of marrying me or what?” The first year is the most pleasant. Vacation, New Year, the flu epidemic - everything is like the first time. Then the repetitions begin, and the girl thinks about the future. How long can you “just date”? You grow up, she gets old. Not ready to get married? Introduce her to her relatives, write out a power of attorney for the car, make duplicate keys - in short, take steps towards final rapprochement, stall for time.
Correct answer: “I see our future in the brightest colors. Let’s go out of town for the weekend!”
Incorrect answer: “What’s the point of thinking about it, we’ll all die anyway!”
№20 I'm tired and want to go home
This means: “I’m bored here, I have no one here to impress, no one notices my suede skirt with appliqués, and even you don’t pay attention to me!” Finding yourself in the company of your girlfriend’s unfamiliar acquaintances, you can always find solace in a secluded corner with a bottle of whiskey and a catalog “ The lineup BMW-2004". Women are not so sublime and self-sufficient creatures. Brought - entertain. If you don't know how, take it away.
Correct answer: “Of course, dear, we’ll go now. By the way, meet Oksana, Misha’s wife. Their baby is only two, but she has already gone to work. It's so interesting!"
Incorrect answer: “Lie down here on the sofa, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go home. Wait, I’ll get a towel to cover you.”
Incorrect answer: “Wash her inside, you stupid dynamo!”
№22 Better leave your phone
This means: “I won’t call, but politeness does not allow me to tell you to go to hell.” Well, it could have been worse, you could have received the answering machine number of the local bathhouse. Get her out of your head, better luck next time! Especially if you shave your mustache and change your deodorant.
Correct answer: “Write it down. Most likely my butler will answer the phone; he doesn’t speak Russian, but he understands everything.”
Incorrect answer: “Are you sure you’ll call?”
№23 I understand everything
This means: “You are married, but that doesn’t bother me. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you with calls in the evenings.” Well, if you want a non-binding relationship on the side, this is your chance. Especially if the girl is over thirty, she is married and has three children. She doesn’t need flowers - where will she put them then? She always has her passport with her in case of a hotel. She will complain about her family life, you - on yours. She understands everything. And in principle, it is not necessary to have sex. Romance!
Correct answer: “Understanding is your most valuable quality.”
Wrong answer: “Could you wear the same perfume as my wife?”
№24 Do you tell all the girls this?
This means: “I don’t believe in romantics with such an impudent face!” Reading magazines was not in vain for you: you know what words to strike a spark of excitement even from a woman’s stony heart. I love cooking, kung fu, children and dogs. You have an elegant neck, come to me, let’s read Pasternak out loud... He doesn’t believe it. Strange. Try looking into her eyes next time, think about something sad and high (for example, about the president’s rating) and put a stud in your shoe - all these measures will give your lustful image the right amount of contradictory trepidation. Which in the twilight can be mistaken for sincerity. Oh, and take that pack of condoms out of your breast pocket.
Correct answer: “Close your eyes and lie down. Now I’ll try to give you artificial respiration.” Incorrect answer: “Me too... Where is the toilet here?..”
